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Sunday, March 16, 2025

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Ken Day Come-Ons: Raiders Of The Misplaced Ken


And now, our yearly custom continues…

 

[dimming lights]

[queuing up sexy saxophone music]

[adjusting Speedo]

 

Hey, Bebeh.

How YOU doin’?

 

Immediately is Ken Day, bebeh doll, and which means I am right here to make all of your attractive, attractive desires come true.

Besides perhaps that one.  

(By no means once more, Cancun.  NEVER AGAIN.)

 

That is proper, my sprinkle-coated sugar dumpling, I’m about to rock your world … by dealing you a hand of Blackjack:

Or, wait… it is a sizzling tub? Oh. Okay. EVEN BETTER. Mrowr.

 

Now, slide that candy little character of yours over right here, and have an unlimited glass of ketchup:

I warmed up this facet of the concrete slab only for you. [eyebrow waggle]

 

What’s fallacious, my tangy berry candy tart? Is the concrete to not your liking? 

Maybe you’d favor some Satin Ice* sheets?

I do not lounge this casually for simply anybody, you recognize. Principally as a result of I lack articulated elbows.

(*That one’s for you, decorators.)


These boxers are actually confining, although, my delicious fondant-wrapped cheesecake chew.

Right here, let me slip into one thing a bit extra snug:

You’ll be able to’t see it, however I am completely flexing for you proper now. Unnng.

Ahh, I can inform by your dismayed expression that you just’re pondering EXACTLY what I am pondering, my honey-drenched pudding pop: this DOES cowl up too lots of my “finer property.” [wink] Nicely, do not you are concerned. I can repair that.

[grunting]

[squelching noises]

Okay, my candy-coated cake pop! Put together to fulfill … THE LOINCLOTH OF LOVE:

Take me away, officer; I give up to YOUR SEXINESS. 

 

Oh, and I ought to warn you: objects within the rear view are a lot hotter than they seem.

[jiggle jiggle]

 

Because of Sara O., Sanne V., Mary Ann B., Frank M., Laura S., Renee D., & Lauri M. for serving to me retroactively break lots of people’s childhoods.

*****

A number of years in the past, after John and I first revealed this put up, we acquired an e-mail from readers Charity and Royce. That e-mail contained an audio file. An audio file that, as soon as performed, would change our lives perpetually.

Or a minimum of make us snicker like hyenas for a great 5 minutes.

So right now, on your wrecking pleasure, we current that audio, mixed with our authentic visuals. Flip up the quantity, and ENJOY.


Word from john (thoJ): After I was making this video, I pitched down Royce’s voice only a bit for sexiness. After I confirmed Jen, she requested if I may pitch it method UP. The result’s, if attainable, much more hysterical.

So I current to you… The chipmunk model!

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